If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
