Dual....:-)
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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