Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
