I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
