You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
In other news, I just burned my penis
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
