so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
