They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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