chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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