I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
