your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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