id be glad to
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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