Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize