Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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