you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
this boner is exhausting
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize