I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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