my phone needs a breathalizer
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
