Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize