I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You can't motorboat a personality
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
