I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
