did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
