That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
