I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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