And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
