Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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