Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
