My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
