well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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