Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
