saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
