i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
