I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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