he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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