I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Randomize
