3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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