So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
