is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
