I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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