I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
