No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She needs sedatives and a leash
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize