is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
