am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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