Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My bed smells like the plague
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