Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
