He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
