yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
