weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
