i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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