So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
