I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
