Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
