Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
