It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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