Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
