You're completely useless in the revolution.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
