shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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