she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
