Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i think i have two assholes
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
