I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Randomize
