Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
40s are totally the cure
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
