Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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