I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Randomize
