I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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