apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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