Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
