You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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