i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
