i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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