I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
