Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
