pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
