jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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