she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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