didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
