I just cut my nipple shaving
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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