i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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